Screw you ED

I call him ED(ie eating disorder). That annoying voice in my head that creeps in whenever I have to get on a scale or put food in my mouth . Its a terrible habit never forgotten post addiction. I fight him daily but a lot less than when anorexia had a hold of my life. The reason I am telling you this is because when eating Paleo style came about part of your results are based on your weight. Getting on the scale when I first started eating Paleo style was the first time since I went to the doctors a year ago. I never allow myself to do it. I do not even own a scale. So you can imagine the crazy things ED had to say when I got on the scale yesterday only to see my weight had gone up 5 pounds. Not only had it gone up but it is the heaviest I have weighed EVER! 

I am not going to lie, part of me wanted to have a break down. I just didn't understand it. I feel great, my clothes don't feel snug and my confidence has boosted 10 fold (until I got on that scale). So WHY had I put on weight? BOTTOM LINE, its not about that damn number on the scale. We as a society have had it en-grained in our brains that we MUST be a certain weight. Hell even the doctor has it laid out for you what your weight to height ratio is. But why?

I have always asked myself this. Since starting Crossfit I feel better than ever, I am in the best shape of my life AND I put on weight. What does that mean? Well people, it means I am getting leaner. I hear a lot of people say "well muscle weights more than fat". Is that true? Well I did a little research and here is what I found. A pound of fat is a pound of fat, respectively a pound of muscle is a pound of muscle. "If your weight stayed exactly the same and we theoretically took off 5 lbs of fat from you and replaced it with 5lbs of muscle. You would weight exactly the same, but because muscle is more "dense" than fat, the 5lbs of muscle takes up less space, you would appear slightly leaner and/or thinner. A person can not add actual true muscle weight though without being in calorie excess. A starving person who lifts weight is not going to build much muscle, if at all" says Jeff Novick of Healthscience.org . My point here is that, yes I have gained weight, its good weight. I am replacing fats with muscle and in addition adding more muscle. Therefore my body should appear more lean and I should feel stronger in my workouts. Both of which I do. 

We cannot base our body composition on weight alone. We must take into account all that comes with it. If we are eating right and taking care of our bodies we should see the results we want. The scale is JUST A NUMBER. How do your clothes fit? Do you like what you see in the mirror? Can you walk up a flight of stairs without losing breathe? Can you go outside and run around with your kids? These to me are what we should be looking at not the scale. 

Crossfit has given me a lot of things. Leaner body, stronger body, and a place to let go of stress. But most of all it has given me confidence and the right mind set of what being healthy is. For that, I thank the heavens I have found Crossfit and I make it a part of my daily life. ED no longer controls me or who I am on a daily basis. I can finally look down on him and crush his every negative word. 

DO NOT LOOK AT THE SCALE!!!

ED Hater,
Samantha 

Progress

6 weeks ago, I completed workout "Fran" for the first time. Most Crossfit bench mark workouts are named after women. "Fran" is one of them and she consists of:

For time:

20 Thrusters (65lbs)

20 pull-ups 

15 Thrusters (65lbs)

15 pull-ups

9 Thrusters (65lbs)

9 pull-ups

When I completed this workout 6 weeks ago, I used 45lbs for my thrusters and had to use a green band to help assist me in my pull ups. I actually walked away from that workout with a goal in my mind "I was GOING to do pull-ups before I did this workout again". 

Yesterday I completed "Fran" once again! Not only did I RX (did workout as prescribed) but I was able to log a PR(personal best) in my book! I used the prescribed 65lbs for my thrusters and did kipping pull-ups with no assistance. Oh and it hurt, just look at my hands but all this 6 weeks later!! 

All my Crossfit family did this workout 6 weeks ago and did it again yesterday. We were all RXing the crap out of Fran. AMAZING! I couldn't believe it. I have never seen that kind of progress in a group before in my life. I know in part it has a lot to do with the dedication of the group and how we all "drank the kool-aid" and are now addicted to Crossfit, but I have to say without our Coaches we wouldn't be anywhere near where we are today. I can remember starting out at North Country Crossfit and barely being able to lift a 25 lb bar over my head. I just cannot believe the differences I see. I am stronger, leaner, faster in my runs, lifting heavier, happier, more confident. Crossfit is UNBELIEVABLE! 

I have not only been athletic my whole life but I have also worked in the fitness industry. The love, the compassion, and the dedication of my coaches, it is beyond what you I have seen anywhere else in the fitness world. Being in the fitness industry is a lot of competitiveness and a lot of money hungry people. You just don't get that at North Country Crossfit. My coaches seem to be more satisfied with seeing there students succeed and prosper than anything else. You can almost see the fulfillment in their eyes when they see a student progress in a workout. Isnt that how it should be in all aspects of fitness? I am here to tell you that it isnt but at North Country Crossfit they it is.

Thats why if you have been at all hesitant to try it out. DON'T BE! You will fall in love with it! You will be happy with the results!

Yours Truly Progressing with Fran,

Samantha 

Crossfit Open is Done!

Well I just completed 13.5 tonight. You know what that means, Crossfit open is over!! So what have I learned from the experiance?

1) Anyone can do it!!! No matter how long you have been doing Crossfit.

2) Do not get caught up in the fact that you are competing with people across the nation. This was my first thought when I hesitantly signed up for the open. But what I have come to realize is that at the end of the day you are competing with yourself. You are trying to break YOUR records not everyone else's. Sure its cool to see where you stand compared to everyone else but that's just a perk of being a part of the open. :)


3) Take this opportunity to learn. The night the open workout is announced you get to see some top athletes complete that workout. Sure its pretty awesome to see them, but what I love about it is you get to watch an experienced athlete. You get to see their form and technique.  Watch and learn.

4) Push yourself. The open gives us all the opportunity to see what we are made of. Like I said "There is No CANT in Crossfit". Keep that in mind when walking into the box.

5) That being said we all know that we watch those Crossfit athletes the night of workout announcement and think " damn this workout looks easy, why would they put this in the open". Only to start doing the workout and think "how the hell did they make this look so easy". So remember they wouldn't put it in the open unless it was a challenge. Focus on good technique and pace yourself.

6)  Finally, you wont regret signing up for the open. I promise that at the end of the open you will be more than glad you signed up! If anything you will leaverealizing you can do more than you even thought possible. But you will also know where you can improve.

So next year sign up!!! You never know what you have in you till you try :)

Yours Truly, Crossfit open competitor
Samantha

Furlough

It has taken me 3 days to write this post. Mostly because I am having a hard time finding the words to describe how I feel. Two days ago I had to let my Crossfit coaches know that I could no longer attend North Country Crossfit. It was and still is saddening me. My husband will be effected by the government cut backs, also known as "Furlough". Therefore as a family we have to make cut backs. Unfortunately  attending North Country Crossfit had to be one of them :(  The end of April will be my last day at North Country Crossfit.

http://www.politico.com/story/2013/03/dod-to-begin-sending-furlough-notices-thursday-89029.html

I cannot tell you how much being a part of Crossfit has changed me for the better. My over all goals have changed. My perspective of what my body and my limits are have increased. I have done things that I never thought possible for me. Crossfit, or shall I say my coaches, have made me a more confident person. Confidence that I have struggled to find in myself since my recovery. So thank you Coach Ben and Meg for showing me that where there is confidence there is strength, with strength there is beauty.

I have become so attached to my Crossfit family. When I told my coach that I had to leave I felt like I was telling my son I would be leaving for a long departure. It was so hard and I am not looking forward to my last day. But I will enjoy every last moment and embrace every last WOD.

Although I know this will NEVER replace all that I get from attending North Country Crossfit, I do plan to continue my Crossfit practices in my garage. Why, you ask does it not replace going to my Crossfit gym? First of all the coaches, I wont have them working out in my garage. At North Country Crossfit they are always there checking your form and making sure you are doing every movement properly. They are also there cheering you on and helping you with your goals. Then there is the atmosphere. You just get this feeling you are part of something. Walking into the box all the stress, fatigue, and thoughts are put aside. Your focus is on one thing, what you can achieve in the box that day. There are many more reasons but the last reason I will mention is my Crossfit
family. I have met some amazing people in my 3 months at North Counrty Crossfit. All of whom have inspired me and will continue to do so.
So you can now see why being in my garage is less desirable. But I am not the only one in my family sacrificing some thing they love. So on a strict budget I am going to purchase just the basics to get me by till I can return. Oh and I WILL return to North Country Crossfit.

MUCH LOVE to all my Crossfit family but watch out I am giving my last month Everything I have!! I am leaving at the end of this month on FIRE!!! My goal is to walk out April 30th with a crap load of new PR's. :)

Yours Truly, Sad Crossfitter
Samantha 

Breakthrough

YES!! I lifted more than 3/4 of my body weight!!! NEVER in all my life would I have ever thought I could have done this. My form when lifting it was less than perfect BUT I did it!!! 
Today was the 13.4 workout for the Crossfit Open. It was as follows:

Complete as many reps as possible in 7 minutes
95 pound Clean and jerk, 3 reps
3 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 6 reps
6 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 9 reps9 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 12 reps
12 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 15 reps
15 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 18 reps
18 Toes-to-bar...
This is a timed workout. If you complete the round of 18, go on to 21. If you complete 21, go on to 24, etc.


So you thought I was scared of 75 lbs, one look at 95 lbs and I was terrified! All day today I had anxiety, I just couldn't get out of my head. I kept thinking "how am I going to lift 95 lbs?". I went North Country Crossfit still feeling like "Wow, I am about to attempt this". Coach Meg and Ben walked up to me and said "You got this Samantha, you have lifted this weight before, just get under it. You can do this". They are right, I have lifted it before but only in a 1 rep max. That's so different from completing it multiple times over and over. Then coach Ben said pointing to my head "Its all in here". YES, that's it...I just needed to remember what I had wrote in my blog last week. Tell that voice in your head to back the frick off....YOU CAN DO IT!  Then I looked around  the box. I saw and heard all the confidence my coaches had in me and I thought "If they say I can do it, I can do it damn it!" I am not going to lie, my first few attempts I struggled. But listening to Coach Meg egg me on and my Crossfit Family screaming in the background, I got it. Once I got one it went slightly smoother, by the end I got 8 reps in. I know that doesn't seem like much considering the above, but for me it is a BIG Confidence booster! 


Today just before starting the 13.4 workout, I for some reason felt the need to yell "There is no CANT in Crossfit!!". There should be no CANT in any part of your life. If you think it, If you dream it, IT CAN be done. The only person holding you back is you! So not only in Crossfit but in everyday life, its your mind that decides your fate. You either fail or succeed based on what you think you can do. But if at first you do not succeed, TRY and TRY again until you do! 

So thank you Coach Meg and Ben for the boost of confidence today! It was much needed and I will carry it through to my next workout! GOOD LUCK all you 13.4 Crossfiters out there! Remember......THERE IS NO CANT IN CROSSFIT!

Truly yours, little Crossfit Beast
Samantha

Nothing is Cookie Cutter

"It’s important that everyone understands that no recommendation works for everyone" says Paul Noble writer of "eat to perform". http://eattoperform.com/2013/03/08/carb-back-loading-paleo-women-of-crossfit-version/ .

I agree with this 100%. I have finally completed my 2 week mark of eating Paleo Style. Last week I had a break down and was unsure I could do it any longer. With a few pep talks from my Crossfit family members I stuck it out.
As with anything, eating Paelo Style is not cookie cutter. Elisabeth Akinwale said "I feel like their are the paleo snobs that stand on their high pedestals about being strict paleo, then you have the people that brag about not eating paleo what so ever. Both get under my skin because its not about any one way. Figure out what is right for you." http://eattoperform.com/2013/03/19/question-and-answer-with-elisabeth-akinwale/ .

I have spent the last 2 weeks finding what works for me. I have for the most part figured it out but I am still tweaking it. Most importantly though I have found that writing EVERYTHING down for me, DOES NOT work! I get to paranoid and I kinda freak myself out. Part of my prior addiction I assume, so I have taken a different approach. I eat the same thing almost everyday with the exception of different dinner meals. I now have a refrigerator stocked full of veggies, fruits and meats. My husband and my son's snack cupboard is far from my reach. :) I also allow myself one glass of wine a week.

I am finally starting to see the difference in my body and mind. I feel stronger and I am sleeping better. Not much difference in my body composition but I am not expecting to see overnight changes. In fact, not to scare any of you ladies out there, but as expected I have gained a few pounds. Keep in mind that this is not a fat gain, its a muscle gain. So I feel better not worse. Weighing 112 lbs I knew I was going to see that weight go up, so I was prepared for this. Also, my face isn't full of acne but I get them every once in a while and it is starting to clear up.

I am actually starting to see that eating Paleo is kinda fun. I have been creative about my dinners and made a few different things. I had a scrumptious stuffed cabbage roll with ground lamb and
cauliflower rice. I also made Portabello mushroom pizzas...mmmmmm just thinking of it makes my mouth water. :) I will leave both these recipes below.

I guess what I have learned thus far from eating Paleo Style is: what works for some, may not work for others. Find your balance! It will take time but you will get there.


Yours Truly, Getting Crossfit Lean
Samantha


Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
Recipe: http://acraftygourmet.blogspot.com/2013/01/paleo-dinners-golubtsy-aka-stuffed-cabbage.html

Portabello Mushroom Pizza (MINUS the cheese :))
Recipe: http://www.bodyrock.tv/2011/06/25/delicious-healthy-pizza-recipe/

Rely on your Crossfit Family

Today, I watched my son roll around on the ground screaming and crying because he couldn't get something he wanted. As I watched him (slightly angry), I thought "Oh dear god, this is me!". I am this little 3 year old screaming and crying about getting myself healthy, while my coaches are trying to reason with me. Most likely they are saying to themselves "If you would just god damn listen to me!" So hear goes, Coach Ben and Coach Meg, you are right.I am going to STOP being the hard headed inner 3 year old child I am, and LISTEN TO MY COACHES! I will not say sorry for last nights blog though, Only because I know most likely people that start eating Paleo Style feel this way, I am just the dumb ass that expresses it out loud. :)

I had a good wake up call today from one of our very own Crossfit family members, Craig De Boos. Craig helped me see that I was looking at this ALL wrong! Its not about competing with someone or for something. Its about making myself all I can be. Its about challenging myself to my fullest potential. Coach Meg said to me tonight, "getting the nice body and lifting better are just a side effect of eating Paleo, but really it comes down to eating healthy for you". She is totally right! If I can just get past 1 week and onto 2 and 3, I will start to feel the benefits of eating Paleo Style! Its getting over that hump. 
Craig also sent me this awesome article: http://www.bikesportmichigan.com/editorials/0000021.shtml . This is a MUST read for any athlete and ANYONE trying to get into any type of sport, including Crossfit. The first step is getting off your butt and doing it, Once you do that, you are automatically "that guy/girl"! You are one step ahead of that person still sitting on the couch.

Nobody EVER said it was going to be easy, nobody EVER said I would feel great 2 days in, and certainly nobody EVER said it wasn't going to be work. So if you want to play, that's all part of the game. Last nights blog, was a true mental break. I took a day off from Crossfit and was feeling the brunt of eating Paleo. Walking into the box today I realized, I just needed some Crossfit family time.  Even though I know why I am doing Paleo, I just need to hear and see why? I guess for now while I am in the first part of it, I will need Crossfit Family time daily! :) 

So THANK YOU Craig, Coach Meg and Ben, and my other Crossfit family for the pep talks today! It was much needed. To all you readers, LISTEN TO YOUR COACH and rely on those who are going through the exact same thing as you for wise words and wisdom! :)


Yours Truly, "Crossfit Child"
Samantha